– Does automating your solution to revenue thrill you?
– Is studying new issues like crack to you?
– Do you thrive in a high-stress surroundings full of political infighting, paperwork, and company nonsense?
If that’s the case, then we’re the place for you, besides you would possibly hate how good of an organization now we have – full of pleased, usually competent those that don’t put up with jerks. Frankly, it makes me sick how good everyone seems to be.
We’re distant full time, have very versatile hours, individuals are judged by their output, not by how a lot they suck as much as the boss, and turnover is tremendous low as a result of the corporate believes that pleased workers=pleased clients=pleased checking account. Merely disgusting, in the event you ask me.
–Is that this an actual job advert?–
Yup! Amazingly sufficient, we truly paid cash to put up this on a bunch of various job websites. And it’s not even a pyramid scheme! Plus, get this: the proprietor simply began paying our 60ish workers with cash as a substitute of Pizza Hut coupons – we’re massive time, folks.
Our careers web page is definitely price trying out to be taught extra about how insane we’re (sidenote: it gained an online design award in 1993 – we’re a fairly large deal):
–What do you guys do?–
We do quite a lot of various things lately together with promoting superior shopper merchandise (these are only a small sampling):
Working this Amazon Pay-Per-Click on company: PPCFarm.com (we’re actually, actually good at PPC)
And we are going to quickly be launching a SaaS product for stock administration.
We’re doing our greatest to develop quickly yearly, and it’s our intention to proceed that for so long as doable, which implies we want good folks to assist us sustain with the expansion.
–What’s your organization like?–
1. You Can Be Your self. You don’t must placed on a faux, skilled face. You may simply be your self. You may discuss smack to the CEO (extremely inspired), and nobody will assume something of it. You do not have to decorate up, or use formal language, or faux to be one thing you are not – you’ll be able to simply be you.
2. Main Alternatives for Profession Progress. We aren’t making an attempt to only be a small enterprise. We plan to be doing $100 million yearly within the subsequent few years. We promote shortly as soon as we determine expertise. It doesn’t matter what your credentials are – it issues what you get executed.
3. Full Time Distant/Versatile Hours. You can be working from residence in your pajamas, in your schedule. And we don’t care in the event you work 10 hour days 4 days per week or 6 hours a day and catch up over the weekend. As long as you get quite a lot of work executed, we’re pleased campers.
4. Full Work/Life Steadiness. When you’re routinely working greater than 45ish hours, you’re gonna get a pleasant talking-to. We would like you to be working at 100% capability, which implies that you might want to relaxation.
5. Strongly Anti-BS. Anyone within the firm can (and is predicted to) inform the CEO when he’s improper. There aren’t any bureaucratic or BS guidelines getting in the best way of getting work executed.
6. No Micro-Administration. When you’re skilled and have demonstrated you understand your stuff, we’re fairly hands-off. In truth, in the event you want exterior administration to remain on-task and motivated, we in all probability aren’t the place for you.
7. No Poisonous/Incompetent Individuals Allowed. We strive very exhausting to display out imply or silly folks earlier than they get in, however in case they slip by way of, we hearth them shortly. You’ll by no means must work together with somebody who’s an apparent fool or straight up malicious. No poisonous or incompetent folks at work – may it actually be? [Yes]
8. Supportive Surroundings. We don’t function through intense stress or unreasonable top-down deadlines. Everybody needs you to achieve success – inside politics are at a minimal right here.
9. A lot of Raises. We do our very best to get forward of issues and provides raises preemptively, so you do not have to ask for one. It is common in any respect for somebody to obtain 2+ raises per 12 months.
10. We’ll Spend money on Your Coaching. We would like you and everybody to get higher continually. You’ll be studying new issues on a regular basis, and are strongly inspired to take a position time each day to be taught new issues, enhance your system/work course of, and simply usually attempt to make your life simpler.
11. 4-6+ Weeks Trip. We 100% need you to recharge, so having loads of break day is totally price it.
12. Paid Maternity/Paternity Go away. We’ve even began letting folks skip conferences throughout labor!
13. Self-Funded So We Can Do What’s Proper for Us. We don’t must reply to anybody however ourselves, so we are able to make the best determination for the long-term well being of the corporate vs making an attempt to get massive too quick or minimize corners to appease some egocentric investor.
–What are your organization’s values?–
Sure, these are legitimately our values. The careers web page is certainly price trying out – it’s not simply regular company BS. We promise you’ll be taught so much about us.
–OK, so I’ve learn like 45 dang pages about you guys. Will you inform me what the precise job is?–
No.
–Wait… What?–
OK positive.Tremendous brief model:
Making us more cash by rising our Search Engine Optimization operation (which is simply managed on auto-pilot in the intervening time).
We now have cheap on-page web optimization on one in all our websites and an inexpensive content material manufacturing system, however now we have no backlink technique, the above objects may positively be improved, and we aren’t doing any web optimization for any of our different websites.
Principally, there may be A LOT of alternative to enhance site visitors through web optimization
Here’s a bulleted checklist of duties:
– Be taught every part now we have to show you about web optimization
– Be taught far more by exploring issues on-line (we’ll pay for programs/teaching)
– Deploy what you be taught
– Determine learn how to systematize and automate a lot of your actions so we are able to roll out methods throughout all of our branded websites
Like everybody else within the firm, additionally, you will must innovate usually – which implies determining methods to enhance high quality and manufacturing pace.
It’s difficult, however enjoyable work that’s going to require quite a lot of time and process administration, problem-solving, and an inexpensive quantity of individuals expertise.
–Do I want expertise?–
We anticipate you to have a minimal of 70 years of expertise (120+ most well-liked).
Oh, you have not lived two lifetimes consuming and respiration enterprise 24/7/365? Who TF do you assume you’re, studying this job description? You absolute buffoon.
Oh, you have not been instantly concerned in at the very least two (ideally three) World Wars? You are not even certified to function our espresso machine, you sentient potato.
Oh, you did not observe the Huge Bang because it occurred? Get out of right here, you pirated copy of Home windows 95.
I’d actually throw up out of your insolence. The hubris to assume that you simply, you absolute idiot, may apply for an apprentice place – completely sickening.
Additionally, no you do not want any expertise.
We would like particular folks, and don’t give AF what their background is. Most of our greatest folks did nothing remotely associated to their present roles, so in the event you’ve by no means executed something like this earlier than, do not sweat it. We rent 100x extra for potential than present information.
The Huge Bang requirement nonetheless stands although.
–What if I’ve web optimization expertise?–
That’s positively cool, and we’d like to have you ever. It’s positively not a necessity, however in the event you’re already a baller, we’d like to deploy your information!
–I’ve by no means executed web optimization earlier than. Is that this the job for me?–
We’ll train you every part we all know, then we’ll pay so that you can be taught extra.
It’s a closely technical job – you’re gonna be messing round with the backend of internet sites, coping with AI automations, but in addition doing backlink outreach, which implies looking for alternatives for us to amass hyperlinks from different websites.
There’s a ton of alternative for inventive downside fixing on this function. If you might want to be round folks on a regular basis to be pleased, this in all probability isn’t the correct of function, however in the event you’re a nerd who likes technical stuff and discovering inventive methods to drive extra site visitors, then this is likely to be an incredible function for you.
–Do I want a school diploma?–
You simply should be superior.
–Are there any geographic restrictions?–
So long as you’re in a rustic that doesn’t have lively sanctions from the US authorities, we have an interest. Our founder isn’t identified for respecting the federal government a lot, however they’ve all of the weapons, so…
–Do you do something black hat?–
No, and we gained’t wish to in all probability.
–This sounds fairly good, although I’m nonetheless skeptical that this isn’t a pyramid scheme.–
You sound similar to the tax authorities!
–That doesn’t resolve any of my fears, however what do I must do to use?–
Please submit your info on the next web page to use.W e promise to reply inside 5-10 enterprise days even when our reply is No.
There will likely be a number of steps on this course of, FYI, together with a protracted written software, interviews with doubtlessly a couple of completely different folks, and paid work take a look at(s). Hiring the best folks is basically exhausting and really costly if we do it poorly, so now we have to front-load the method. I am sorry about that and thanks for sticking with us.
When you’re in our pipeline although, I might anticipate supplying you with a last reply inside a couple of weeks, relying on the way it goes. We positively don’t wish to string you alongside, and so long as you do what we ask, we promise to inform you “sure” or “no”, and to not simply ghost you (like everyone I match with on Tinder).
Thanks on your time and curiosity, and I hope we are able to work collectively quickly!
