It’s 4 solutions to 4 questions. Right here we go…
1. My neighbor, her nephew, my child, and her canine
My query has to do with child work. I not too long ago discovered myself in an uncomfortable state of affairs with my middle-schooler, Falcon, and I’m questioning if I dealt with it badly. My neighbor, Jane, requested Falcon to verify on her canine and take them for a stroll whereas she attended an occasion. She supplied $15/hour, and since Falcon loves canine, he agreed. The request was for him to spend two to a few hours strolling and taking part in with the canine, beginning between 5 and 6 pm.
On the afternoon of the occasion, Jane texted, asking if Falcon may as an alternative keep at her home till she returned round 11 pm. She additionally talked about that her grownup nephew, Hank, could be on the home with Falcon. This transformation was … surprising. We solely noticed the textual content after returning residence from Falcon’s soccer sport, by which period Jane had already left for the occasion. Neither of us had ever met Hank earlier than, and all we knew about him was that he had studying disabilities.
Falcon was uncomfortable with the thought of spending a number of hours in a home with an grownup stranger. However, since Jane had already left, we felt obligated to meet her request. I accompanied Falcon to the home at 6 pm. We walked the canine, performed with them within the yard, and greeted Hank, who was sitting at nighttime and ignored us. Falcon was afraid of him. We performed exterior with the canine for a few hours till it grew to become too darkish and mosquito-y to fairly stay outside. We then introduced the canine inside and waited collectively within the entrance room with them till Jane returned, as neither of us was comfy leaving Falcon alone with Hank.
When Jane obtained residence, she observed canine poop within the kitchen, which we hadn’t seen as a result of Falcon was too scared to go in there (it was hooked up to the room the place Hank was hanging out at nighttime). It appeared that Hank and/or the canine had stepped within the poop and gotten it in every single place. Our greatest guess is that the pooping occurred earlier than we arrived, as we have been with the canine pretty constantly from 6 pm till Jane’s return. Jane handed Falcon $75 as fee, however I texted her the following morning, providing to return the cash since we hadn’t prevented the canine from soiling the home. Jane requested us to return $50, which we did.
I really feel horrible about the entire state of affairs. I don’t assume Jane ought to have put my son within the place of being alone for hours with a person he didn’t know. Falcon feels responsible for not doing a greater job with the canine. I’m questioning how may I’ve dealt with this higher. Past letting the canine out earlier, after all. I really feel like I’ve each traumatized my youngster and let down my neighbor.
That is 100% on Jane. Falcon agreed to a selected job: taking part in with the canine for a few hours, on his personal, ending no later than 9 pm. Jane unilaterally modified that to “keep at my home for six hours with an grownup man you don’t know.” Even when Hank had been friendlier/much less intimidating, this wasn’t an okay factor to ask of a middle-schooler, notably with out checking to see if he’d be comfy with it and presumably speaking with you as properly. (Frankly, even when Falcon have been comfy, I don’t assume it might have been an applicable ask. If Hank isn’t able to taking good care of the canine himself, and is somebody who would possibly smear canine poop everywhere in the home with out cleansing it up, an unprepared middle-schooler isn’t the precise particular person to be alone with him.)
If we may return in time, ideally you’ll have coached Falcon to inform Jane that he couldn’t keep later than the time he agreed to (and even informed her that your self). You say you felt obligated to meet Jane’s request, however you weren’t obligated; the request wasn’t the one Falcon had agreed to. I don’t assume you wanted to supply to return the cash though I can perceive the impulse, given the poop state of affairs. However Jane ought to have refused that supply and may have apologized for a way issues unfolded.
2. I submitted a time without work request 3 months in the past … and am nonetheless ready
I work at a small firm, about 50 staff. Final 12 months, the proprietor turned over day-to-day operations to a VP who has been with the corporate for the previous 10 years. I report back to the VP and am one in every of 4 individuals with the corporate in a managerial place.
Over three months in the past, I submitted a depart request for the week of Christmas. I’ve been on this trade for over 20 years and that week is traditionally the slowest week of the 12 months. I normally don’t take off that week in order that my employees is ready to journey to see household (my household is small and native). Final 12 months, my brother-in-law died on Christmas and my husband doesn’t wish to be residence as a result of unhealthy recollections from final 12 months. As a result of it’s Christmas, I submitted my request early to ensure it was well timed and earlier than every other requests have been submitted.
The VP has not decided on my depart request and suggested me he’s nonetheless “eager about it.” I’m very pissed off. I really feel disrespected and unappreciated. I solely earn two weeks of depart per 12 months, which isn’t a lot and infrequently causes points as my husband has significantly extra depart and we’re unable to journey attributable to my lack of depart. Additionally it is use or lose, so if I don’t use my time by the top of the 12 months, I’ll lose it. I really feel like my trip time is being held hostage. By no means thoughts that I’ve to pay for the AirBNB and flight and my husband has to request depart as properly for that week. All the pieces is in limbo over this and the prices are rising every day. The distinction in the price of the flights between early June and September is sort of $1000. I’m so offended and upset.
I’m keen to give up over this. My problem is that I don’t assume the proprietor is conscious of the problems with the VP, and I’m unsure how you can deliver it up as he has said a number of instances that he has full religion within the VP and trusts him 100%. I don’t assume it’s applicable to withhold PTO approval (or denial) for over three months, all whereas the price of my trip plans are actually growing and I won’t be able to make use of the depart earlier than the top of the 12 months if this trip request will not be accredited. Any steering could be tremendously appreciated in how you can deal with with each the proprietor and VP.
Speak to the VP first! Say what you’ve mentioned right here — the prices are rising with every day that you just wait, the time without work is use-or-or-lose it, and also you want to have the ability to plan. Ask what he wants to offer you a particular reply by subsequent week.
If he doesn’t try this (or if he denies the request), discuss to the proprietor. “Having full religion in” the VP and “trusting him 100%” doesn’t usually imply “I consider he won’t ever miss something / may by no means profit from assist altering his perspective.” And also you’re a high-level worker who’s been there for a decade; the proprietor most likely would wish to know that you just’re on the verge of quitting over one thing so simply solvable.
All that mentioned … two weeks of trip time is very stingy for a administration degree place, and much more so after 10 years. I’d additionally discover it grating to be in a high-level administration position however nonetheless be required to get approval for a meager period of time off throughout a gradual interval. Nobody ought to want to attend this lengthy to have PTO accredited, however sometimes PTO approval for managers at your degree is way nearer to a rubber-stamp; making you wait months for no discernible cause is ridiculous. Is that this the one factor the place your organization is stingy and overly inflexible? I’d be inclined to reassess how properly this place treats you (in cash, in advantages, and in respect) and evaluate it to different choices that is likely to be on the market.
3. What do I do when my firm firewall blocks a web site?
Occasionally I’ll open a safe-for-work hyperlink however will probably be blocked for varied causes. Typically it’s as a result of it’s a “advocacy web site” (which, my job is in advocacy, so I don’t completely get) however typically it’s for pornography. That is completely mortifying! (And I need to stress, there’s no cause to consider these hyperlinks are literally NSFW!) What ought to I do when this occurs? I normally do nothing, however I’m very embarrassed on the concept of our IT staff getting an alert that I attempted to entry porn at work. Do I have to e mail them about it and clear the air?
Nah. They’re most likely properly conscious that the software program misfires, and also you’re undoubtedly not the one particular person it’s occurring to. Nevertheless, it might be high-quality to message them, “FYI, OatmealAlliance.com is being blocked as ‘pornography,’ which it clearly isn’t.” That means you’re informing them about an issue (their blocking device wants refinement) and if it occurs to deliver you peace of thoughts within the course of, a lot the higher.
If these are websites it’s good to do your job, you must add, “Are you able to please unblock it? I would like it for a mission I’m engaged on” (or comparable).
4. Greeting individuals you’re unsure you’ve met earlier than or not
Low stakes query, however do you’ve got a favourite solution to acknowledge individuals who you’re launched to and aren’t positive if you happen to’ve met earlier than? Or you realize you’ve got, however they don’t bear in mind and also you don’t wish to put them on the spot?
I’m normally within the latter class, however could also be shifting into the previous. The default appears to be “good to see you,” to cowl all bases, however truthfully I hate it. Curious when you have something higher?
“Good to see you” is a traditional amongst politicians and others who do plenty of glad-handing for a cause: it covers you in case you’re forgetting that you just’ve met the particular person beforehand. You possibly can go along with “hi there, how are you?” however there aren’t many different choices for this particular context.
