I used to work as an underpaid retailer clerk in a big flea market. For context, it is a western-style flea indoor market the place distributors lease areas, arrange their areas with items and costs, after which go away the day-to-day within the fingers of the flea market employees, solely coming in so as to add new merchandise or gather their gross sales. The flea market was in a former bowling alley and run by a rich proprietor who was a infamous cokehead. I’ve many, many, MANY tales from this place that embrace every part from haunted spoons and bizarre closeouts to hijacked vehicles and vintage corpses. However that is in regards to the wildlife.
The Bison
This flea market was situated in the midst of the prairie in a spot with a variety of bison ranches. Bison would sometimes escape their enclosure and wander into the car parking zone. Normally they handed by pretty rapidly however from time to time one would resolve it was the proper spot to settle in for a day nap. A part of my job was to “make the car parking zone protected for patrons.” As an alternative of any rational process, I used to be required to tiptoe out to the car parking zone with a stack of orange cones and place them across the sleeping bison, as if individuals wouldn’t discover it there in any other case. Thankfully, this didn’t occur usually however when you’ve ever tried to quietly tiptoe round an animal whose ancestral reminiscence is being worn out by puny two-legged interlopers, it’s very nerve-wracking. I acquired excellent at working for shelter at a second’s discover.
The Antelope
We’d additionally get the occasional herd of antelope, which wasn’t a difficulty in itself as a result of they’re fairly anxious and would leap tall SUVs in a single certain in the event that they acquired spooked. Nevertheless, by some means they knew that in searching season it was unlawful for anybody to shoot them inside a sure distance of fences and buildings, so throughout searching season they’d hang around by the dumpsters like a gang of highschool delinquents, giving us the stink-eye every time we took out trash, the chief of the gang refusing to budge from his throne atop the dumpster.
Then someday, one in all them found out the entrance doorways opened inward and acquired curious. The entire herd quickly adopted. With so many breakables in there, none of us employees wished to spook them, so whereas my supervisor phoned the wildlife service (who laughed so exhausting at us I might hear all of them the best way over to the register), the opposite clerk and I propped the doorways open and tried no matter we might to encourage them to go away. The antelope didn’t care. A pair days later, some wildlife officers confirmed up and have been in a position to wrangle them again out within the car parking zone. The proprietor then changed the doorways with some that opened outward. This didn’t cease the antelope from attempting to get again in and we’d routinely hear them rattling on the door.
The Mountain Lion
Fred the Mountain Lion nonetheless haunts my nightmares. He confirmed up earlier than the entrance doorways have been changed, most likely lured in by the antelope. The three of us who labored on the flea market all left on the identical time at closing and we knew full nicely we locked the entrance door. The entrance door was unlocked once we acquired within the subsequent morning. At first, we thought Fred was a taxidermy acquisition the proprietor introduced in, as he typically does after hours. We have been aggravated it was left on the counter blocking the register however chalked it as much as the proprietor’s normal antics, so we went about opening up the shop.
Then Fred moved. All of us froze in place and for a pair beats, nobody a lot as breathed. Then the supervisor slowly inched in direction of the entrance door and pulled it open as huge as attainable, sandwiching herself between it and the wall, whereas the opposite clerk and I mentally wrote our obituaries. Fred jumped down from the counter and sauntered out the entrance door, pausing for a second to provide the supervisor a huff. Then he wandered out. He frolicked within the car parking zone till the wildlife officers confirmed as much as relocate him. That point, they didn’t chuckle at us or take their time exhibiting up.
The Gulls
There was an enormous inhabitants of gulls within the space that have been presupposed to migrate after breeding season in response to each chook map and professional who swore to us it was unattainable for the gulls to reside there year-round. Normally the gulls have been content material to hold across the dump, however a lot would present up round city. One summer season, a small group appeared in our car parking zone, taking nice curiosity within the dumpster. When searching season got here round, that they had some weird skirmishes with the antelope gang however determined it was a candy sufficient location to place up with the occasional problem. We didn’t suppose it was going to be an issue.
We have been flawed. The gulls found out the way to get into the flea market, most likely by watching the pigeons do it. It was heat and comfortable up within the rafters and a few distributors offered thirdhand liquidation sale meals, so the gulls have been content material to reside the remainder of their lives with ample meals and loads of heat. For apparent causes, this was an issue. It was already a part of my job to take the long-handled bass fishing web and seize the pigeons to launch again exterior, so the proprietor determined that additionally utilized to gulls. Gulls will not be as compliant as pigeons. They’re much louder, quicker, messier, and angrier.
I don’t know if anybody has ever tried to seize a gull in a bass fishing web, however it isn’t one of many best duties, particularly when the ceiling is larger than the online. Ultimately, we got here up with a system. The supervisor would throw a ping-pong ball at a gull which triggered the gull to swoop down after it, then the opposite clerk would wave two massive foil-covered items of cardboard to shoo it in direction of the entrance of the shop, then I’d leap out with the online and seize it, at which level the supervisor would have run as much as the entrance doorways and flung them open so I might guide it out the entrance door with a screaming mad gull flailing in my web. We had a couple of 75% success charge, which we have been fairly happy with.
In fact, the gulls would simply get again in as a result of the proprietor didn’t need to pay to repair the gaps within the roof the place they acquired in. And in case anybody wonders how prospects handled all of this, they largely didn’t. We had so few prospects, we might go days with out seeing anybody else. We noticed distributors greater than we noticed prospects. I actually suppose it the place was some form of tax write-off for the proprietor since he had different companies and a day job. If it wasn’t for the animals, it could have been a way more boring job.
